I wrote this a couple of years ago. After a conversation with a friend on FB I decided to dust it off and post it on my Blog. Here are my thoughts on war.
When I ask people why we are at war I get many different responses: Retaliation for 9-11, for oil, weapons of mass destruction, religious reasons, for freedom. Somehow I cannot justify war for ANY of these reasons but those who support war feel justified and worry at my lack of patriotism, my lack of understanding.
Maybe I am just naive or uninformed but how can we support a war when we cannot even agree on the reasons we are fighting. “1,2,3, what are we fighting for? Don’t ask me, I don’t give a damn. Next stop – [Afghanistan].” We are a Nation divided over war and both sides are self-righteous in their opinions and beliefs. Even those fighting do not agree on whether or not the war should continue.
What I do know is that war is hell and you and I, who sit comfortably on our couch, don’t even have the beginnings of a clue of the real hell that is war. We watch the news, listen to the soundbites, and shake our heads in frustration and five minutes later we are thinking about the leaky faucet or the extra work the boss dumped on us or the orthodontist appointment that our child has in the morning.
Recently someone I knew in high school, and am Facebook friends with, sent me a message describing his experience with war. Words cannot begin to express the heart wrenching anguish I felt when reading his words. I ached for him and for all those who personally face the ugly reality of war. I am not trying to use him as a Poster Boy for an Anti-War campaign, I am not trying to vilify him, I am not trying to garner support for the war. I am just sharing a story that needs to be heard and I hope and pray that it moves you as deeply as it moved me.
Here is his story…
I killed so many insurgents that screamed Allah Akbar (God is Great)at me; including women and children. I forgot what is right and what is wrong. I lost my self somewhere along the way and I dont know if I will ever find my way back.
My last gun battle I was rolling past the insurgents and there was a car bomb. An insurgent rolled into my convoy with a 3-5 year old child. He detonated 1500 pounds of explosives as I was looking at the child. It took out our rear car. My friends heads were on the ground next to me. Then they opened up from a mosque with belt feeds. They say I went insane. I kicked the door out of the SUV and started to fight. 6 bullets into my body, 26 dead insurgents and a couple dozen dead civilans later the battle was over. They sent me home never to work again. Of course they give me $4500 a month tax free for the rest of my life but the question is this. What is faith? Who is GOD? What do we believe? They believed in their GOD and comitted attrosities in the name of their GOD. I believed in myself and my brothers. I fought with everything I believed in. When I woke up in the hospital everyone but me was dead. What is truth? What is right? What is wrong? If you ever figure it out let me know. You can use anything I say. I speak with truth; looking for truth.
It is my deepest wish that in some small way we are able to reach out to the men and women who live these horrors and ease their pain and confusion and maybe in doing so we will help bring truth and peace.