My friend John recently mentioned that some folks thought he was gay because of his stand on marriage equality. Lately I have had that same reaction from people. A few friends have messaged me on Facebook asking me about my sexual preference. “Are you a lesbian, or straight, or are you bisexual? I know that this question doesn’t come from malice or prejudice but from a place of curiosity. I don’t know if by categorizing, it helps them define me better, or if it allows them that, ‘oh-now-it-makes-sense’ understanding; but whatever it may be, that question always leaves me wondering…. Why?
Would I have different political views, religious views, or social views? Would my exercising habits, eating habits, or goals be different if I preferred one specific sex over the other? Would I still hate war? Would I still want all human beings, all groups, all individuals to share the same basic human rights, human wants, human needs? Would I still want to teach children to coexist? Would I have still taught my daughters to be tolerant of others views, ideas, philosophies? Would my dogs still love me, my cats ignore me? Would I still enjoy singing in the choir? Would I still listen to the blues, or jazz, or rock music? Would Copeland still move me? Would I still want to dance or walk along the ocean’s edge? Would I still love my daughters, my siblings, my parents, my nana, my friends. Would I enjoy the night when the stars fill up the sky? Would I still be me?
I appreciate those folks who care about me and want to get to know me better. But I cannot help but wonder if, and why, my sexual preference would really be the defining factor in who I am. I, like my friend John, don’t mind being asked if I am gay or straight. I am not concerned about whom people love… as long as they are happy, if they are content.
Maybe then, that should be our question. Are you happy?